If you are in a high conflict divorce, that approach can not only add time and money, but stress. This video will help you manage and de-escalate issues that will help you get through the process.
High conflict couples, highly charged relationships will most likely have a high conflict divorce. Maybe one isn’t ready to let go of the marriage, or one is bitter about issues in the marriage (affairs, substance abuse, resentment over time). There is less cooperation and it becomes about winning.
When you are in this kind of relationship, the best solution is Couples Therapy. I know…last thing you want to do. But the communication doesn’t end with the divorce. Better to reach terms with the decisions and gain the skillset to work with each other through and post-divorce for the sake of the kids. If you have an unwilling partner, the strategy is to do what you can to just get him or her in the room.
The ideal thing about using a therapist is that it’s a good use of time and money. Attorneys are expensive and they don’t necessarily know the emotional side of the divorce. The right therapist will help you decide what’s worth fighting about. And, not only can you save time and money, but reduce STRESS!
Typically, things will escalate when discussing the kids and especially when the cell phone is involved. It’s hard not to respond to a nasty text, but you should sign off. If you’re talking live and your partner is verbally abusive, say, “I’m going to hang up now until we can talk about this calmly”.
Through the process of our own divorces, Barb Hazelton and Jo Briggs learned more than they ever needed or wanted to know. Through their friendship, shared experiences, and connections through navigating their own divorces, they created this video series. They've been where you are and they hope Single Process can make it easier for you by connecting you to their resources.