Co-Parenting with Trevor Mullineaux

One of the annoying realities of divorce for us was how much we saw our ex-spouses AFTER the divorce. But if you can co-parent successfully and treat each other respectfully and with compassion it really is so great for the kids. You were madly in love with this person at one point in your life, right?

A successful co-parenting plan means making the kids the most important piece. Put your garbage aside and put their emotional well-being first. If you have problems, side-bar it for when the kids are not around to witness. The courts love the term ‘safe attachment’ which means that kids need to feel a connection with each parent. When you put each other down, you are essentially telling your kids that half of them is bad.

One thing Trevor suggests is to come up with a mission statement that creates goals that put you on the same page. You’re now in the business of raising your greatest joint asset: the kids. Set the criteria so that everyone knows expectations.

When it comes to holidays and birthdays, if you can be with your ex and keep it friendly and light, great. If you can’t, then don’t do it.

When it comes to transitions between parents, kids like predictability and schedules. Set specific times, but be fluid if needed. If you do everything from a place of respect (I know it’s hard, but it’s for the kids), everyone wins. If are upset with your ex, don’t call it out in front of the kids but discuss and resolve later.

Perfection is the enemy of the good. Do your best and don’t sweat the rest.

About the Author Barb & Jo

Through the process of our own divorces, Barb Hazelton and Jo Briggs learned more than they ever needed or wanted to know. Through their friendship, shared experiences, and connections through navigating their own divorces, they created this video series. They've been where you are and they hope Single Process can make it easier for you by connecting you to their resources.