Is it a rough patch or is the marriage no longer working? We love when an expert will give us a simple list, so here it is:
#1: Taking each other for granted. Three years into a relationship, you’ll most likely stop appreciating each other. Statistics suggest that most people spend less than 10 minutes a day with their spouse.
#2: Conflict resolution: you can’t let issues fester. You have to address is before resentment builds.
#3: Constant Arguing: a certain amount of arguing is OK, but constant bickering makes for a toxic home. For me personally, I knew there was a real problem when I stopped caring about the argument!
#4: Mistrust: If you’re stooping to snooping, that’s bad. We all get that gut feeling that something isn’t right, but don’t sneak around. Ask. You may not get an honest answer, but at least you’ll know.
#5: Sex: if you’re not having sex or if you’re having sex outside the marriage that’s a problem. 20% of marriages are considered sexually inactive (10x per year or less). The norm is about once a week, and it’s important.
There is still hope, but these are pervasive issues that need addressing if you want to keep the marriage alive!
Through the process of our own divorces, Barb Hazelton and Jo Briggs learned more than they ever needed or wanted to know. Through their friendship, shared experiences, and connections through navigating their own divorces, they created this video series. They've been where you are and they hope Single Process can make it easier for you by connecting you to their resources.