#1: Is this a We or a Me issue? One of you may have given up a career to be at home with the kids, but things change. So, what is the source of your malcontent? Are you resentful because you gave up a career or had to move somewhere you didn’t want to go? Make a list of what makes you happy and what doesn’t before you conclude that the marriage is to blame.
#2: Have you really considered the true impact this will have on your life and family? Everything you know is about to change: time with your kids, income, friendships, and more. You can’t even begin to guess how different your life will be, so give it some thought.
#3: Can you afford to be on your own? Personally, I think this is the biggest reason someone stays in a bad marriage. Getting back into a career after years of not working, or supporting yourself with half the income you had formerly is overwhelming. I remember a discussion I had with an attorney early on who told me that there was no way I could afford to stay in the marital home. It actually hadn’t occurred to me because so many of my friends go the “house” in the divorce.
#4: Are you really willing to be single the rest of your life? You might be and you might not be, but don’t kid yourself into thinking there’s something magic out there. Relationships are work, especially once the shine wears off. Leaving the marriage for someone else is unlikely to work. As much as 70% of those second relationships fail.
Through the process of our own divorces, Barb Hazelton and Jo Briggs learned more than they ever needed or wanted to know. Through their friendship, shared experiences, and connections through navigating their own divorces, they created this video series. They've been where you are and they hope Single Process can make it easier for you by connecting you to their resources.